Wednesday 29 April 2009

堅持

親愛的需要勇氣的小兔子,

我試著像你一樣寫了封信,很希望可以貼近一點點你的焦躁思慮。

老實說我對你的環境還停留在你們班上那群不太懂事的同學身上,我不知道他們這段時間內有沒有進步一點點,如果你還是為了同樣(或者更複雜)的事情受挫困惑的話,我想說沒有「太過認真」這件事,堅持對的事情也不需要什麼理由,只因為它是對的,雖然困難重重,也很難說值不值得,堅持那些正確的事,為什麼不能驕傲?

在很多事情上,你確實很容易少一根筋非常的不世故,但是妙的是你卻多了根筋很容易受到那些世故的人們的傷害。

不過幸運的是你確確實實的感受到了那些關心你的人的心意,我希望這些能夠帶給你力量驕傲的堅持下去。


就某種層面上來說,我說的這些東西很可能完全沒有說服力,因為我自己就是那種完完全全的少了很多根筋的人,還是希望可以給你一滴滴的勇氣。

Monday 27 April 2009

It's 20 pass 1 in the morning. I am sitting at the table in the computer room rather than in my cozy room, working on the essays, in the last minutes.

This is the second time I write in English yet it seems that ever time I do this, it's always about complaining. (In order to keep it a secret from my dear faithful reader-- my mom)

Not completely, but, close. Can't help it. I was really pissed off by my notebook. It kept shutting off automatically for hours while I was editing the essays. Gosh I hate IBM.

Four weeks of intensive work made the day before submitting much more relaxing (an perhaps a bit too relaxing) than last time. And I do think they are not trash for all the efforts I put in made me have a tiny little faith in them.

As I said in the previous post, I am on my way to a professional historian. I know perfectly well this means a lot more challenging works and a lifetime permitment. But I am not gona give it up.

Saturday 25 April 2009

我去聽了他的演唱會

大概兩個禮拜前,當報告截止日的壓力還沒到排山倒海的程度的時候,我當了朋友Andreas的小跟班去聽了一場非主流樂團的演唱會。

老實說我不是台灣所謂的文藝青年一團(寫詩玩攝影組地下樂團沒事參加學生運動),這算是我第一次聽演唱會,也是第一次聽像這種非主流(沒有唱片公司出唱片)的演唱會,對我來說這真的是一個很特別的經驗。
總共有三個團,主打的是壓軸的Loney Dear(也就是說前面兩團都是暖場用的)。

我找到一個紀錄了這次演唱會的The Line of the best fit,主要的照片以及音樂都是從這邊而來。



















第一個樂團我還滿欣賞的,後來才知道叫做leisure society是一個將古典樂融合進流行樂的組合,對我來說當然是樣樣新奇,但我朋友說他也是第一次看到這樣的組合。

這巨大的團,大概有七八個人以上,換言之樂器也有七八種以上(而且期間主唱還一直換樂器:吉他換了兩把,還有一次是用Ukulele--一種夏威夷樂器,長的像小吉他),除了主唱、鼓手、keyboard、和貝斯手以外,這個團很特別的地方就是還有另一個小團,包含了長笛、小提琴和大提琴。



接著是一個女生主唱和鋼琴的組合,她的聲音還不錯,走美聲路線,但我沒有特別喜歡,Andreas則是眉頭一皺,「我覺得很難聽,笑話也很爛」,就跑出去抽菸了。

最後是這次的主打LoneyDear先生,他出場以後整個氣氛都不一樣了,最主要是燈光師開始認真起來打各式各樣閃耀的燈,閃到整個團都消失在黑暗中(所以我並不知道實際的團有幾個人,不過我聽說成員很不固定)只剩下loney dear先生在燈光中揮汗唱歌。



















然後這場子才算滿(是的,前面兩個團的觀眾並沒有滿),而且loney dear還滿會帶氣氛的,大家很開心的一起哼唱某些背景伴奏。



結束之後我還有點意猶未盡,雖然我整個是個外行,就算是單純的跟著音樂搖擺,還是讓我很享受這一晚。

我想我得開始計畫我的下一場演唱會之旅了。

Thursday 23 April 2009

Joe Purdy


最近對著電腦打報告的時候經常聽的聲音。

我在youtube上面找不到比較清晰的版本(肯定是沒有MV),找到了一個他在西雅圖表演的片段。

官方網站



Tuesday 21 April 2009

this week

我知道在大英圖書館humanity reading room裡面的人們,不論年紀或者性別,有很大一部分都是學歷史的,但是當我瞄到隔壁老先生桌上堆著兩三本The Historical Journal時,我還是有點訝異。

是啊,歷史學家就在你身邊呢。



有好一陣子沒有寫網誌,沒有偷看線上日劇,也有好一陣子沒有定期掛在MSN上面,最主要的原因就是我得在一個月內寫出兩篇四千字的報告。

上次聖誕節放假也是差不多的狀況,有鑑於上次花了兩個禮拜交出兩篇垃圾,我這次簡直就是念茲在茲不敢鬆懈,復活節的假一天也沒放,從課程結束到現在每天都上圖書館或者待在宿舍的電腦室念書或者打報告。
我的人生這個階段,大概可以描述成無止盡的閱讀和勉強吸收消化然後生產一些瑣碎的知識,我的生活大概就是關在圖書館,一整天,有時候也沒有什麼機會可以跟朋友聊天或者說話。

就算聊天,也許也是三句不離研究。

往好處想的話,老實說我也算是找到了生活的節奏,漸漸習慣了這種生活模式,漸漸接受成為歷史學家得忍受的寂寞。

前面兩個禮拜我試著跟朋友們去酒吧看了幾次足球喝啤酒,甚至聽了一場非主流樂團的concert,然後還是一樣每天念書。

到了第三個禮拜的時候我選擇把體內源源不絕的能量(其實是一種悶到不行的感受)轉化為動能,一週兩次慢跑,繞著泰唔士河河岸。

第四個禮拜的現在,我把這種對「生活除了讀書沒有其他」的焦慮發洩在另一個交換日記的網誌裡面,然後繼續趕著進度。最後一週不會有足球啤酒音樂會,因為大家都在圖書館裡發了瘋的念書和寫報告,所以依然得撐下去。



這就是成為歷史學家之前必經的路。

Sunday 5 April 2009

this week

Nothing special happened this week. That's why I did not record anything interesting recently.

The thing is that, actually nothing 'happy' happened last week. I had a headache on last Sunday. My stuff was stolen in British Library on Monday. The tutor who supposed to have a meeting with me didn't show up  on Tuesday. Then I got cold, a different one, on Wednesday. I kept coughing for three days.

I always think that 'everything will be fine tomorrow' but it turned out to be worse during this week. This was especially hard in the first week without courses, without those familiar faces around. I went to the British Library for studying in the first day but then it became a place where reminds me of the miserable past in the locker room. Gosh! I hate those lockers.

Perhaps one thing satisfying is Ian Mcbride had my essay passed. I know very well that was completely trash so I felt gratitude to him for saving my life. Another thing is, after going through all those bloody miserable things, I found myself braver than I used to be.

Life sucks. But I move on. I stayed in the libraries for the following days and kept studying. Two meetings with the professors were done, two outlines for the term courses were written, more than four books were brosed and summarised. 

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails