I quit last months. The reason is simple and clear: I need time to prepare my application and a full-time job just won't do it. So after clearing up the mess, completing the process of resigning, I took a few days off in Taichung and then, restarted the old life as a student (I wish I can call myself an independent researcher...), and a tutor!
Everyone loves student life. Being a student somehow means being young and free, bunches of time to do whatever you like to do. That would be exactly what I felt in the very first five minutes stepping into the lib and picking up the books which I should have finishing reading months ago.
Then here comes a surge of panic. A couple of days being unwell and sleepless. Then I got to know that it is the pressure of being jobless, without identity and money.
Luckily I always find a way to deal with it. Negative feeling usually won't last for a long time and I move on, even though I have not yet get rid of the ugly truth of uncertainty of an academic career for the rest of my life.
And I finally got a tutor offer to pay the rent! That's a good start. Now I have to work harder on my proposal and have a more specific plan and stop mumbling here.
加油！I can do it!